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Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook. Ambrose Bierce
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. Ambrose Bierce
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. Ambrose Bierce
Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you! Tommy Smothers